ARRGHH!!!

do i really deserv this type of life???am i a criminal in the past life???why my this life so terrible de???
some people say its challenges in life...but do i have to get a challenge so difficult till i feel like commit suiciding???
i thought you are the one...my god sis tat is going to change me...someone tat will make me think people in a different way...but i guess all is the same...i am really disappointed...am i really suppose to live this life alone???i see people tat have a good friend...so good...im thinking...how good if i even have tat time...even for just one day...why i cant have it???did i really do something so bad till deserve all this???haiz...AAAARRRRGGHHHH!!!