you aRe~mY MAGNET

Working~

2011-03-06T23:51:00.000-08:00

currently working in breek's cafe as a barista...
it is quite fun life here.....
but you....you change everything ever since you started working here...
i got over attracted to you....
maybe...over attracted...
i wish...we can still be good friends..
you are the first person to bring me to meet your friends...
i have never experience it before...
but i always make you angry...
am i a failure...
am i just a toy to you?will i ever be appreciated by you?i hope....that time will come soon~

Flying moments~

2011-01-26T07:56:00.000-08:00

work is fun....new experience for me...im now a barista trainee...currently,im the only guy doing dining or bar...pay has just out today...im so happy...
but then...
you are in my mind 24/7....even at work...i really miss you...
everyday i would wait and wait hoping to see your message...
maybe its true wat people always says....
everything in this world is balance...Yin & Yang~
after being happy the whole day,its time to be disappointed and sad at night...
are you scared of me???are you avoiding me???i think i push you too much...
you need your space...
i was shocked to see get that you did a new profile and never add me...
you have time to on9 and see fb.....
but dont have time to message me???even message me one message per day would be awesome and brings happiness to my day...
i think its my fault...
i'm sorry...jia you k...form 4 is tough...i know...but do not overstress yourself k~enjoy school life....the life after secondary will be very tough...appreciate secondary life...enjoy it...do not be angry at small things...be strong...
everyday i wake up...i see my phone...and see get your pic...its my wallpaper...
i hope next time,i could wake up and see your real life face~
i cant sleep every night thinking bout you.....
im worried bout you...
but then,it seems you are doing good...
i am a burden to you...
I LOVE YOU,Tian Sze....
take care~let fate decide ba...take care of the present k...its from Japan oh... ^^

sTiLL~

2010-12-25T10:43:00.000-08:00

you no reply me...i wonder how are you doing...i miss you...i miss chatting with you...
are you trying to avoid me???
are you alright???
am i troubling you???
am i giving you stress???
whatever it is,i hope you would tell me directly...i will be patient and reasonable to everything you are going to say...i hope can go out with you again..like last time... ^^

Christmas Morning~

2010-12-24T15:30:00.001-08:00

i now in Henry house...christmas eve was very boring...i guess im getting old...people starting to forget me...

i still remember last year my phone receive wishes till phone lag but this year,it seems all the messages have been eaten by something...

this is christmas morning..i hope today will go more smoothly,more enjoyable and more memorable...

MERRY CHRISTMAS everyone!~ ^^

There IS still far to go~

2010-12-23T08:58:00.000-08:00

you did not reply me after you said you cut yourself...i was so worried you know...i cant sleep thinking bout you...wonder how you are...are you hurt...

dont give up yet...its just PMR....you still have SPM,maybe STPM or graduation...so why worry...PMR is just a little part...now that you know the feeling of bad result,learn from it...keep it in your heart...go the best of SPM....aim the highest...

DONT GIVE UP YET!JIA YOU!All the best~GAMBATEH ^^

you can do it....

Wow~

2010-12-23T08:40:00.000-08:00

i just spend the whole day alone...without any friends...i think this is the first and only day this happened...

i dont want the feeling anymore...it sucks...

now...

its christmas eve....i hope...i can have a great day especially with friends...i hope i can feel the christmas magic...Merry Christmas everyone...

Just return~

2010-12-22T10:44:00.000-08:00

I just came back from Japan not long...Although it is only one week,the experience I got was unlimited~but i think...the thing i will miss most over there is the peace i got~It was winter over there...I had a lot of fun but everyday I go through,i miss you...I really wanted to call you...but I got no idea how to call back Malaysia...there were a lot of codes...I really did tried~
When i came back here,it was as if I've never existed before...Is it because I had so much fun in Japan so i had to suffer a little here??
You didnt reply me for about 6 days...tats one week...i really very sad and scared at the same time...
I think.........im not prepared for you yet...
I made you sad and angry so much time...I cant stand it anymore...seeing,hearing or even feel that you are sad or angry makes my heart very very pain...
I dont want it to happen anymore...I have a present for you...its from Japan...
do keep it properly k ^^
Joyce Tan Tian Sze
you have been very precious to me...
you will always stay in my heart...
i will still wait for your reply...
i really have fall in love with you....
i really like you...
i really love you...
Thank You
I LOVE YOU a lot ^^

old friends....

2010-10-21T10:50:00.000-07:00

i think...
it has all gone...

we used to be very close...
you all used to call me mummy whenever you all see me...
what happen now???
have i been forgotten???
should i let the school era to be run by the younger students???
i think its time...
for me to step down...
and let them take it...
those who have i helped but forgotten me,
im proud of you all...
did very well and good...
^^

You ^^

2010-10-21T10:40:00.000-07:00

when my heart is down,
you lit me...
when i am suffering,
you relieved me...

i have just realised...that...
I have fall for you...

i want to be with you...
but im scared...
im scared that you'll leave me...
you are a very sporting and active girl...
you join many activities...
you are a very outgoing person...
im scared...
if you are with me,

i will lock you up...
i will say no to this and that...
i will make you suffer...
i will stop you from many things...

i dont want it to happen to you...
i cant bear to see you sad...
your smile...it gives me strength for life...
no matter how hard an obstacles comes,
you can lighten it up...

we are using the same surname...
wat if...
our parents dont allow us be together???
i think...
i have to just...
go for it...

Tian Sze...i have really fallen for you...
when i see you...my heart beats very fast....
I
Love
You

friends???

2010-09-29T08:49:00.001-07:00

i have always put friends over everything else in life...
but why these happens to me??
best friends???we are a group???
ALL ARE LIES!!!

when i was still with brenda,you wanted to follow along when we go out,i never stop you...although i want time for two of us only,but friends...they are always the priority in my heart...when i go over to her house,i brought you along...when we go karaoke,i brought you along...i never said 'NO' to you...i have always take you as a bro...you were once very quite...i thought you need to change...i thought you how to communicate with girls...i introduced you to so much friends...
amanda loh,cynthia,amanda goh,kai yee, and the others...so many of them...
if without me,you think you will know them???you told me your god sis the one teach you to socialise with people but socialise with girls is me...then do you think if i never teach you to socialise with girls you will have this god sis???
your segamat,muar friends all you got them by yourself...through LEO club...
think back...who forced you to enter LEO club??
but this is how you repay me???
when you need me or alone or go out with guys only call me??
you borrowed my shirt and when i want back you tell me 'your problem la' and laugh???you think very funny???
backstab,talk bad and betray me just to impress a girl that you never get??
was it really that worth it???i got no idea...

you...
i have always looked up to you...
when my father say you got no future,dont mix so much with you,you useless de...
i even argued with him and give him scold like dont know wat...
but how you repay me???
backstab and betray me for the same girl as the person above???
good....very 'good'....

when you all need help...sure ask me do a favor...
i sleeping,or tired or its difficult to do...
i dont mind...for the sake of friendship...
but when i need someone...who do i have???
my dog and cat...
fine...all throw me one side like an old man~
all i want...is a few friends to spend time with..
is tat so difficult???

if i tell people...i dont think anyone will believe...
im Tan Siong Sern after all...
brother to Tan Siong Ling,the playboy...
sure got a lot friends de...
sure no problem de...
but im totally different than him...
never judge a book by its cover...

im always waiting...
for that group of friend...

happiness~

2010-09-29T08:11:00.000-07:00

true happiness is not something i feel when people make me happy...
when something look at me...and says...siong sern...thank you...and have a big smile at their face~DAMN~
when people are sad and down,i try to cheer them up~
my self suffer or sacrifice a little,i dont mind~
all i want,is to see those smile...
when people are sad or angry at me..
the feeling~its something heartbreaking~
although people can hate another person for a long time,
but not me...maybe im crazy???
backstabbed and betrayed many times...
but why do i still forgive them???
when you look at me and smile at me,
at that moment...i felt like the happiest guy on earth...
i think i was wrong all these while...
i should be happy and glad that you showed me so much in life...
if you didnt so me so much in life,i think my life will still be boring one...
i should thank you...for showing so much bout this world~
i may still be young~
but yet i tried to opened my eyes after the experience i been through...
i think~~~
we shouldnt be sad about love,sadness,suffering but instead;

SAD & Emo
Of losing these happiness~
where are THEY???
where are all the happiness???
what is happiness???

find out...what is happiness in your life and hold on to it...
to me,

HAPPINESS is...
when i see other people smile ^^

2010-09-16T09:26:00.000-07:00

f everything!!

Me

2009-10-21T05:04:00.000-07:00

I have been waiting...
For tat special someone...
A person for me to love and be loved...
You came to my life...
Bringing the light upon me...
I finally have stopped for the girl named Brenda...

You brought happiness to my life...
With you by my side...
Everywhere was paradise...

My life is hanging at the edge of our love...
You are everything to me...
If you ever leave me...
It will be the end of me...

I hope our love...
Can last as long as possible...
For you are...
The SOUL in me...

Darling...
You brought live to me...
You brought happiness to me...
You brought true love to me...

Most important...
You brought yourself to me...

I LOVE YOU...

wow...

2009-04-01T04:16:00.000-07:00

wah...today is a new experience when i became lane marshal...it is a total new experience...although im very tired and kena scold a lot but it is really a good experience...thanks to SFI bowling team...^^

cant forget...

2009-02-19T20:47:00.000-08:00

i cant forget you...your cute face....your jokes...
i know some people will scold me...
but i really cant forget you...maybe im nothing to you...maybe i got no chance...
but you are everything to me!!!

More???

2009-02-05T06:00:00.000-08:00

is it because i not enought stress and problem so you want add somemore???
am i really tat bad till everyone want to make me suffer????haiz...

Bad Luck Bringer..

2009-02-03T01:51:00.000-08:00

am i someone who brings bad luck???why???why everyone around me has to be like tat???why always my god sis tat kena..why not me???is it because i bring bad luck to people who are close to me???haiz...all 3 of my god sis tat i love the most also got problem...haiz...

Turn Around..

2009-01-31T09:47:00.000-08:00

i today realise tat obstacle we face today can be good use in future...because i last year faced the same problem and mistake so knew wat to do this year...

although failures are great problems and get upset but never give up in life as there are much more to see ahead of YOU...

i`m currently single and happy... ^^ freedom is much but form 4 life is very tiring i can tell...hope i can buck up and put more effort this year as i was a terrible person in last year loh...

i would like to thank my `Panda' jie,and the person tat make this Chinese New Year not tat bad-my Joycelin Mei...thanks very much ya...^^

anyone can help me in having a new life this year???

Maybe???

2009-01-29T08:45:00.001-08:00

am i not suppose to be in anyone`s life???am i suppose to be disappear from everyone`s memory???it looks like i really have reduced your burden by letting go right???

its the 3rd time ad only when I appear i break friendship...maybe i`m not suppose to appear???tat would be better???

maybe im not suppose to appear in anyone`s life???maybe im only someone who brings bad luck???maybe i`m a bad person???maybe i should just disappear???maybe im not suitable here???maybe i dont belong at here???

is it because i anti-social???is it because of my attitude???is it because i bring bad luck???is it because i dont belong here???is it because im not worthy to be remembered,loved or trust???

Tired,Surviving,Unhappiness,Wind,Life...

2009-01-02T07:01:00.000-08:00

am i a failure???am i a terrible person???wat am I???a criminal???a monster???an alien???if im human then why theres no one who take me as one???humans have feelings...emotions...Happy New Year???the countdown itself was a shocking experience but its as usual as always for me...

am i a wind instead of human???can anyone see get me???am i like a wind that can only pass by???or am i a sun tat being hate by most people and no one can reach???no one will get close to???why is it life have to be so hard???

happy new year???chinese new year???happy new year???or is it sad new year???all seems to be worse than better...is this year going to be even worse???just the first second of the year ad so bad...chinese new year???is it going to be the same as usual???being thrown at one side???will i listen the same question as every year???(where is siong ling???)tat question is something i listen every year during..........everytime,till more than i eat leh...maybe im just another normal person seen by them???i nothing more than just a friend or a stranger???

i just heard a shocking news...i think tat news is going to change my whole entire life from now on...its something tat i worry since last time...its something tat i never wanted to hear...but...it really happened...haiz...

am i fated to be alone???so tat i dont hurt anyone or been hurt???or is it because i dont deserve to have any true friends???

new year...new life...new subjects...can i survive???as half of me was already dead after the news...will i regain back my strength or continue to get worse???can i survive in real life and in school???did i did something my life before or this life tat is so bad till i am being punish now???

friends???good friends???buddies???gf/bf???couples???cousins???family???why am i being hurt by all???everytime around me is squeezing me till maybe i squash to death by stress,tention,problems and sadness???

Kexin,this year you form 5 ad...i know its not a year for you to enjoy...so for you goodness and since you dont want think so much...let me let go one of your burden for you...i think we just be friends...you want totally forget about me also can...i dont mind...if you are happy and i get to do something for you...you want to kill me also i am willing to...^^...just dont pressure yourself too much...i know its form 5...but dont force yourself too much...anything i can help just go ahead and tell me...if anything is not ok with you just tell me ok???

maybe its my life...too be just a wind...to be alone...not reminded or even seen by anyone...maybe i dont deserve too be appreciate and loved...why does this holiday have to be so cruel???i lost so many people...haiz...

' WIND '

2008-12-12T09:54:00.000-08:00

am i a 'wind'???am i suppose to be like tat???is it my destiny to be it???i am there to support but i`m not visible???maybe im worse than tat...maybe im just something tat support you and help you all but im no even visible...you all cant even 'sense' me...
maybe i should get use to it???just support you all but invisible???
i know some people say this is obstacle God to strengthen us mentally but must it be so difficult???I CANT STAND IT!!!

ARRGHH!!!

2008-11-10T04:22:00.000-08:00

do i really deserv this type of life???am i a criminal in the past life???why my this life so terrible de???
some people say its challenges in life...but do i have to get a challenge so difficult till i feel like commit suiciding???
i thought you are the one...my god sis tat is going to change me...someone tat will make me think people in a different way...but i guess all is the same...i am really disappointed...am i really suppose to live this life alone???i see people tat have a good friend...so good...im thinking...how good if i even have tat time...even for just one day...why i cant have it???did i really do something so bad till deserve all this???haiz...AAAARRRRGGHHHH!!!

Haiz..Bored of life...Life sucks!!!

2008-08-20T21:09:00.000-07:00

why???im still a human know...i also have feelings...im doing everything for nothing or just words...i do mean it...you dont give me a chance...how do i need to prove anything???i know you are always busy or moody...but expressing out is even better...i am here and will be at your service 24 hours...forever...

im all alone back now...i thought i have find a group or a person tat really cares...but it was all just a dream eh...i am now back to alone...i need someone...but who???who is there to help me???i think the answer is none...

i am really disappointed...last year i know less people but more people wish me during birthday...this year???i know more people but not even 15 people wish me...my god sisters...i know you all are very busy...but just take the phone and type Happy Birthday wont even take 5 minutes...is tat really so difficult to be done???im sick of life...got one even better...went up kl for holiday then the next day of my birthday she came back and tell me happy belated birthday...i can accept...but later on she say too busy seeing things at kl till forget my birthday...it really stab through my heart...i never ask you to find me and wish..even you in kl also can just take the phone and send me happy birthday...never ask you to buy present or anything...all i want is just your wishing...